Become a person with high EQ, good relationship, and good interpersonal relationship

It will be an angry phenomenon, which is a natural phenomenon. It is not easy to suppress it only by its own willpower. Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to the skill and control the “action” taken after the anger.

Change “action”, “emotion” naturally changes

However, “emotion” is difficult to control directly. In particular, the “emotion” that has occurred and is rising is quite difficult to control.

However, if there is an “action” element involved in the process of emotional production, it is more effective in controlling emotions. Because of the “action” intervention, as long as the “action” is controlled, the “emotion” can be properly controlled indirectly.

For example, try to think about the situation of personal anger. Suppose that the manager is lowering the evaluation in the company, and the heart is constantly angry. However, if you are angry, it will be immature, your blood pressure will rise, and your heart will not be good. Therefore, I really want to suppress the emotions of anger.

The problem is that once you get into your heart, it’s not so simple. The more I want to suppress, the more my heart is in the mood of “the bastard manager!” until I can’t control it.

It is a natural phenomenon that produces an angry “emotion”. It is not easy to suppress it by its own willpower.

Therefore, it is necessary to pay attention to the skill and control the “action” taken after the anger.

If you let your anger go, shout out to the manager: “Why is my evaluation so low?” Angry emotions will continue to rise. I think the answer given by the Minister is nothing more than: “Because you can’t do it, so the evaluation is bad!”

So I answered each other with a slap in the face: “Which evaluation is very strange!” or “Do you know how everyone describes you?” If you attack the other party, you will blurt out.

Then the anger will get higher and higher, sometimes the emotion will lose control, then start to “touch! touch!” to beat the table, or beat the manager. If it evolves into this, I think the situation cannot be recovered. In other words, it has been forced into a dilemma that is not a resignation.

Another reaction is to take different actions even if you are very angry with the manager.

“The bastard manager is definitely better than him!” Some people will hold this kind of mind in their hearts, work harder than ever, and let the manager have nothing to say with excellent work performance.

This kind of person, although anger will not disappear, but he abides by the norms, manipulates his emotions and develops in the direction of social expectations, thus producing benign results.

Then I thought, “The manager, it’s so hot, I can’t stand it. But maybe it’s because he ignited an anger in my heart that I made my job so good.” In this way, I was angry. The mood will be suppressed.

The original anger and impulsivity of both were difficult to control. Later, because of the different ways of reacting, one side keeps the anger rising and the other side reduces the anger. The latter also indirectly controls the emotions of the whole person.

Recently , the anger control skills that are popular in the United States , in principle, focus not on “controlling anger” but on ” actions that control anger. “

The same is true of anger control, which is the systematic control of emotions from a scientific point of view, the so-called action therapy. The Morita Therapy , which will be introduced later , is one of them.

As long as you don’t think about it, your emotions can naturally be suppressed.

The so-called emotional impulses of human beings do not last long. The process of emotional anger is that suddenly there is anger rising, and this anger continues to climb upwards, and when it becomes unbearable, it begins to erupt and enters a state of anger. But after the anger reached its highest point, it began to dissipate.

Angry emotions, and then serious, can not maintain a strong, extreme impulse for 24 hours. Because humans do not have such strong energy. When you are hungry, you will give priority to the urge to eat. When you want to sleep, you will give priority to the urge to sleep. So if you don’t pay attention, the intensity of anger will naturally fall.

However, if people think too much, the anger that reaches the peak will continue.

“That guy is disgusting, I feel like trying to kill him! Bastard!” The anger reached its peak. If emotions can start to end at this apex, if you think of “hate, you can’t kill him, but this kind of disgusting emotion can’t be pressed. That kid is always like this…” or think “can’t be angry, is it right?” Is there a way to put this angry pressure down?” Wait for the extra things. Therefore, his own anger can not be dissipated at any time.

The mood of restlessness is the same. “What should I do? If this continues, the exam will definitely drop.” I have been thinking this way, but I can’t start working hard. At this time, as long as you don’t think about extra things, the problem can be solved, and the feeling of restlessness can be alleviated.

“If I didn’t get it, will my family let me retake the exam? Maybe I don’t have to go to work!”

“If you can’t take the test at the University of Tokyo, should you take another test? Or if you are admitted to a private university, should I go to read it? Can the graduates of that private university find a good job?”

At this point, the whole brain is thinking about things in the future, even a long time later.

Therefore, we should first overcome the problems at hand and try our best to prepare for the exam. The result is that we are worried about the future, and the emotions that are uneasy are getting worse.

In fact, as long as you let go, people’s emotional tension will gradually ease. But because I care very much, it will lead to time passing, and the mood is still very tense. In this way, Morita therapy calls it “treatment.”

Emotional things, if there is no extra stimulus, reach the top and then naturally fall and gain control.

But if people deliberately try to “handle” this emotion, sometimes it will make unpleasant emotions continue to appear.

Just like when you have a headache or a toothache, the more you pay attention to the pain, the stronger your feeling of headache or toothache. The best solution is to focus on other things and try to forget the pain. For example: “My tooth hurts, I can’t do a briefing. It hurts! Pain!” If you think so, it will feel even more painful.

Regardless of whether the teeth are so bad, or practice the briefing, “Therefore, the turnover for the year is…”, “So, the profit is…” Just repeating loudly, how much should be able to forget the feeling of pain. Then, when it came to the real report, after I took the stage, I almost completely forgot my toothache.

Because you care too much, you can’t control excessive emotions or moods. So the most important thing is not to deliberately “handle” emotions.